Being a “writer” for most of my life, and an author for about ten years, I’ve come to realize that I’ve been hiding a shameful secret. I’ve talked to many authors over the years and from what I have gathered, my secret goes against almost everything other authors stand for and believe in. Yet, no matter how hard I try, I can’t get out from under this… thing.
What’s my secret? Well, at the risk of dragging out the suspense by saying I’m not going to drag out the suspense like those click-bait articles that force you to click through dozens of pages just to get to the thing they promised, and it’s never quite the reveal they said it would be, I’ll tell you. Are you ready?
I hate writing.
Go ahead. Ban me. Block me. Unsubscribe from my email list (though if you’re not subscribed, please scroll down and do that first). I get it. Authors are supposed to love writing. We write for the joy of it. The story is in us and we have to get it out. It doesn’t matter who reads it. Sure we want an audience, but readers or not, dammit, we’re gonna write and tell the stories we want to tell. And if no one likes them, so be it.
“Real” authors love writing
Authors love to write. Am I right?
Except me, I guess. The more I write the more I hate it.
I wasn’t always this way. In my early writing days, I loved it. Though it was all digital marketing writing. I could bust out a blog post a day just spouting off what I knew. It was easy and fun.
My love for writing left me when I started writing fiction. Telling a made-up story doesn’t come from my knowledge, it comes from my imagination. And while I consider myself an imaginative person, writing an imaginative story is a lot harder than simply imagining the idea of it. I have ideas galore.
And, for those who don’t know, writing a great, compelling story is a lot more than just having a great, compelling story. There are rules to writing. Rules to turning your great, compelling story idea into a story that people want to read and enjoy. Some of those rules are arbitrary, but most are there because it’s what the audience expects. If you violate the rules, you risk alienating the very people you want to read your story.
Writing fiction is haaaaard.
I never truly understood how hard writing fiction was until I started writing fiction. And then editing, and re-editing. Passive voice, weak verbs, dull language. Apparently, I write those things as naturally as breathing. I have to train myself to weed all that crap out.
And don’t get me started on writing emotion, plot, or compelling dialogue. Or how to make each chapter reveal more about the characters AND move the plot forward.
Writing exhausts me. It is physically draining and I find ways to avoid it. I procrastinate. I started my second novel over a year ago, got 10k words in, and stopped. Other things came up that were more “important”. A website to build, a novel to edit, agents to pitch. Frankly, I’m running out of other things to do and will have no choice but to start working on it again.
And I DO want to work on it, but the thought of sitting down and forcing the imagination onto the page is just daunting.
So why do I write?
That’s easy. I may hate the process but I love the result. It’s true, I do. All the drudgery of writing a story produces a result that I am excited about. It’s like going to Disneyland. I don’t enjoy the 15-hour drive with a car full of cranky kids, but being there is just awesome. And (usually) makes the drive worth it.
So as long as I like the result (and my readers agree), I’ll keep writing. I’ll drudge through the writing and editing process because I’m very happy with what I produce. As imperfect as it is.
What about you? What’s your dirty little secret?
Same!!!! And the more you write, the harder it is! And a brilliant author friend always says she loves to “have written.”
You are not alone in this. And yes, writing is hard. I’ve heard people say, “ if you can do anything else, do it” ….. unfortunately, I can’t not write. As painful as it is.
I love that… “have written.” Stealing it!
You’re not alone, Stoney!! We almost enjoy the editing process more than the writing process because we feel like we’re being more productive! (if that makes any sense)
And apparently we speak (and think, and write) in passive voice, too!
I feel the same about editing. So much more “productive” and takes a lot less creative juice
Anything can eventually become a bit like a chore, I think what you said about the end result making it worthwhile is very important.
Losing yourself in writing is fun, but sticking to the plot, developing the characters and sticking at it is the hard bit, as you pointed out.
Personally, I am going to stick to short story writing to get good at those skills and maybe one of those short stories may eventually become a longer story, or perhaps I shall just have a collection of short stories, who knows how my own writing will turn out?
I am selfish and write for myself and perhaps that means no one will ever be interested in what I have written, but I do not need to do it for a living so I can please myself. I think that if I had the added pressure of having to earn money from it then I would not be able to do it at all.
Good thoughts, Julie. Yeah, I don’t need to make a living at it, I just want to. Can’t work a job forever and would be nice to retire as a full-time writer and still make a good living. If I knew I’d never make a living at it I’d probably just write and give it all away.
Haha I couldn’t agree with this more. The process of writing can be so difficult, but honestly I find the editing the worst. When I get to a point of giving it all up, and saying screw it I think to myself once its all finished the results going to be so sweet. I keep pushing forward, but I think that’s what makes a person a real writer is accepting the fact that it isn’t all rainbows and buttercups, but instead real hard work dedication and accepting it’s possible that failure is an option
I’m the opposite. I prefer editing. It’s a different kind of difficult but not making stuff up from scratch. Just polishing what’s there. But I totally get you.